Here's the list of what you should know about me as a mom:
- I had two c-sections. I had a c-section with my first baby because she was breech. I had a c-section with my second baby because I failed to progress and her heart couldn't withstand the Pitocin. Oh, yes...I used Pitocin with my second birth even though it was a VBAC. I have read too many blogs and websites, and posts, and boards that basically say I was coerced and bullied into using Pitocin because my water broke but my labor didn't start. If you had a c-section or you used Pitocin, guess what? That was your choice! Only you and your doctor/mid-wife knew what was best for you and your baby. Was it the best choice? Who knows! Was it the right choice? Yes, because it was yours and you are a good mom! It's okay if you had medical interventions to assist in your delivery. It's okay if you used an OB instead of a midwife and Doula. It's okay if you birthed in a hospital, with an IV, on medication like I did. Now, if you chose not to do those things, that's okay too but you are not less of a mom because you used medical intervention.
- I tried breast-feeding and gave up. I can lie and say that I did absolutely everything I could to nurse and pump and give my baby breast milk but honestly, when it didn't work after a couple weeks, I used formula. Is formula the same as breast milk? No. Will formula nourish and feed your child? Yes. Is breast milk good? yes. Will it prevent any and every childhood infection, illness, disease, etc? No. Will formula guarantee that your child will be riddled with ear infections, illnesses, a weakened immune system etc? No! Let me just put it out there...Kenzie has been on formula since she was two weeks old (well now she eats food but you get it) and guess what? She NEVER had even one ear infection. She's had only a couple colds and is in general, super healthy! My advice, definitely try breast feeding if that's what you want to do. If you can, awesome! If your baby won't latch, if it stresses you so much you sit with your baby at your breast crying while she cries like I did, then move on! I had two amazing friends who both breast fed their babies for a year who told me that I need to do what's best for my baby and that's being a happy, sane mommy. You will bond with your baby, I promise! I am ridiculously well-bonded to both my babies...not sucking on my nipple didn't prevent that.
- I vaccinate. Did I just say the new four letter word? I vaccinate with everything that is offered my baby including the flu shot. Is it because I'm an uneducated, ignorant, uninformed and horrible mom who falls victim to the lies of western medicine? NO! It's because I have done my research and I have decided that vaccinating is best for my kids and family and feel no regret. I vaccinate so my friend with a little boy fighting cancer won't contract something and die. See, he can't get any shots or vaccines because of his weakened immune system and is susceptible to many illnesses so I vaccinate to protect him and kids like him. I vaccinate to protect all the kids whose parents choose not vaccinate them. It is 100% their choice and I respect that but let's be honest...if we all made that choice, too many of our kids would be dying of diseases that could be otherwise eradicated and currently suppressed. It's their choice not to vaccinate, and it's my choice to vaccinate. My choice allows them to safely make their choice. I am not a criminal for vaccinating my child.
- I let my baby cry. Gasp! I follow Baby Wise and yes, sometimes my babies have cried for a few minutes before I picked them up. Did I ever not meet their needs? No! Did I sleep train, yes! There are tons of blogs and sites that preach on the evils of sleep training but you know what? There is a reason why we need to sleep. It's during sleep that babies process and commit to memory what they learned, saw, heard, and experienced while awake. In addition, research has shown that babies will metabolize better if they can set a sleep schedule early on. And as a mom who works full time, I need sleep too! Both my babies have slept up to 8 hours by 8 weeks. I will not be told that I'm "so lucky" to have easy babies who sleep through the night. I worked DAMN hard to achieve this including persuading my wonderful babysitter to be on board with our routine (and she is, bless her heart) and telling my loving mom to please stop putting my baby to sleep as she cuddles her granddaughter. It's not because I'm an evil, selfish mom; it's because I want to give my baby the gift of a full night's sleep..and me too.
- I love to work! Do I also love being home with my girls? Yes! Am I okay with taking them to a well-trusted babysitter while I go to work and do what I love to do? Yes! I love my job! I love having a job and something I go to everyday. I love coming home and seeing my beautiful girls. I don't desire to be a stay-at-home and that doesn't make me a bad mom...or you either if you work either out of choice or necessity!
- I believe in the public school system and have no desire to home school my child. I will send my daughter to public school, I'm okay with someone else educating her. I think parents who choose to home school are ambitious and amazing...it's not for me and that's okay.
- I let my kids watch TV...kind of a lot of it. I can't justify anything or any reason why. Will my daughter grow up to be a low-life, uneducated, idiot? Likely not. So yes, I do rely on Mickey Mouse Club House and Doc McStuffins on occasion...okay all the time and it's just okay that I do.
- I feed my daughter sugar and fast food. OMG, my kid eats happy meals. I don't buy organic or make all her food (although I did like to make her baby food because it was cheaper and quite frankly, fun). Happy meals make her happy...and sometimes me too. There are days when cooking is not going to happen. My husband and I both work full time and now with an infant at home, cooking doesn't happen everyday. Ergo...fast food some times.
- I had postpartum depression with both my girls. Not the Baby Blues, feeling a little emotional type of PPD, I mean the sitting on the bathroom floor bawling, not able to pull myself together PPD. What's more, I needed medication to help me pull out of it and I'm not sorry that I took it because it has made me a better mom, able to focus on my girls rather than my emotions.
- I use disposable diapers. I considered cloth diapers actually and know several friends who use them with their kiddos and love them! I did research and asked around but it came down to what was easiest. Honestly, the idea of even deciding which disposables to use was exhausting and stressful, so stressful in fact that I abandoned the notion before I even tried them. Yes, we've had diaper rashes, which may have been remedied by cloth diapers but considering that we had to take both girls to a babysitter and work full time, I just couldn't do it and feel no remorse over it now.
For parents who use cloth diapers, homeopathic doctors, all organic foods, natural child birth etc, more power to you!!! You are super awesome moms because you do exactly what is best for your child(ren) and works in your family. For all the moms who do what I shared above, more power to you! You are super awesome moms because you do exactly what is best for your child(ren) and works in your family.
That's my soap box. I'll step down now, go have a glass of wine and feed my infant a nice warm bottle of formula while my two year old sleeps in disposable diapers after watching an hour of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
