Recently the subject of children has been frequent in my home and constantly on my heart. I have almost no rest from my building desire for it. Only a month ago the idea of being a mom was terrifying and I abhorred the thought. Something changed almost over night. Luckily I have a husband who I find to be both wise and careful and unlike me tends to make decisions based on fact and reality while I go head long into my emotions. Because there are just so many unanswered questions, we are still on the waiting block and on birth control.
Some concerns we both have:
1. Are we ready for this? Our "just the two of us" phase would come to a close. I'd be lying if I said that I haven't loved every minute of getting to married finally.
2. Can we afford a baby? I know, I know, I know- you are never really financially ready to have a baby. The thing is, I'd really like to stay home with our baby at least for a while. I don't want to use day care as an a option. Mike and I wholly use both of our incomes and I know that we can make adjustments in our budget but even cutting out cable, coffee, eating out etc, that's not enough for child care by a long shot. Going down to one income isn't either. Mike is good with me going back to work and I want to stay home so we aren't quite congruent there.
3. What if we move? The possibility is highly likely that will happen soon. I like my OB/GYN and I'd like to stick with her. We have family and friends here for support. Could we do this moving away?
4. Jobs and careers- I want to get my master's in something. I want to start soon and I'm not sure both could be afforded or managed. What comes first?
There are just so many questions and my heart isn't at rest. I know Jeremiah reminds me that God already knows the plans He has for me and I should in all things, through prayer and petition bring my requests to God. He isn't worried about any of this and in fact he's already got it all worked out. I just need a green light. Better yet, I need God to show Mike the green light and trust my husband's judgment and discernment. The fact still remains...I want a baby and I think I'm finally ready to be a mom.
All my mom friends out there- I'd love to have your feedback.
I'm excited to see how God has changed your heart about this, even if it doesn't happen for a while
ReplyDeleteWow the title of this entry made me think you had some news you hadn't told me yet. :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Leah,
ReplyDeleteIsn't it amazing how God can just flip a switch like that in your life sometimes?? You can literally go from thinking you've got your life all figured out the way you want it and then wake up the next morning with such a clear but completely different direction in mind, and you just know that it came from God because you never in a million years would have made that kind of shift on your own. That is exactly what happened to me when Luke and I came to the realization that we needed to give over complete control to God in the area of birth control. We abstained and prayed for a couple weeks, and when we finally made the decision that God was definitely calling us to give that over to him, I got pregnant the first time! We knew without a doubt at that point that for whatever reason, we were definitely supposed to be having this second baby right now. It sounds like He is working something similar out in your life. Just keep doing what you're doing: praying about it and trusting God's timing and your husband's leadership. As long as you and Mike are both honestly seeking His will, you will never be disappointed with the outcome! Praying for you both!