Not too long ago, the artist Neyo came out with a new song "Let Me Love You". Although I'm sure his intent was to write it about a girl (possibly not even a specific one, who knows) but honestly, it spoke to my heart in a way he (or his writers) likely never expected. These are the lyrics (from directlyrics.com):
Much as you blame yourself, you can't be blamed for the way you feel
Had no example of a love, that was even remotely real
How can you understand something that you never had
Ooh baby if you let me, I can help you out with all of that
Girl let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Girl let me love you
And all your trouble
Don't be afraid, girl let me help
Girl let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Girl let me love you
A heart of numbness, gets brought to life
I'll take you there
Girl let me love you
Girl let me love you baby, oh
Girl let me love yo
Girl let me love you baby
Girl let me love you
Let me love you, let me love you, oh
I can see the pain behind your eyes
It's been there for quite a while
I just wanna be the one to remind what it is to smile
I would like to show you what true love can really do
This speaks to me on several levels. Similarly to many other girls, I didn't have the relationship with my dad growing up that little girls dream of (and deserve). I'm not saying he was a bad father but there wasn't a passion, an unconditional display of love and affection that I believe little girls need and desire from their daddies. Furthermore, I also believe that my relationship with my earthly father seriously impacted my view of my heavenly father and how He felt about me. I spent 20 plus years believing that I was always "in trouble" with God, that He was disappointed. I spent most of my Christian life cataloging my faults and focusing on my short-comings rather than embracing the love and Grace that God desired to lavish on me. Don't get me wrong, I know that He desires my obedience, He longs for me to live a life that is worthy of the Gospel of Christ. However, these goals should not be at the expense or in place of living in the light of an Abba who adores His children who call on His name.
Needless to say, my serious "daddy issues" followed me into adult hood and reared their ugly head in my relationship with Mike. For four years, I doubted him, I put myself down in front of him (and still struggle with that), and could hardly believe that he could really love me. Little did I know that God was using this precious man to slowly reveal Himself to me in a real and intense way. Through delicate and some times difficult moments, I started to taste the freedom that is associated with unconditional love. I started to warm under the praise of a loving man. What I came to realize is that Mike's love for (similar to God's love for me) had nothing to do with myself but everything to do with Grace. Double bonus... Mike came with this amazing father who from the very beginning has always treated me like a daughter. He tells me he loves me all the time, he embraces me, seeks out time with me, is patient with my moodiness (that we all know I tend to), and is unbelievably supportive of some of my most bonehead mistakes. Grace.
My appreciation for these two special men came rushing to me in a hurry when I first heard this song by Ne-Yo. Through them I have experienced a renewed understanding of God's love for me. I know that love has nothing to do with me, and all with God. I'm so blessed to not only experience this for myself but watch this love trickle down to Kenzie. We need gentle men capable of showing this love to their wives and daughters.
"A heart of numbness, gets brought to life"- is there any other way to describe what God's love does?
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