violins now please

Thus begins my pity party.

I'm in a slump, I am.  It started with just a couple little bummers and now has turned into a few days of general sadness.  Some of it I can put my finger on and some I can't.

I know that I'm super bummed about the slowing of my weight loss.  I feel like I'm plateauing and even though I've lost 25 lbs, guess what?  I can't find even one swim suit that looks good on me and is supportive.  Bummer.

My body just isn't working correctly.  I'll spare the details in light of this being public but I will have to visit the doctor again.  Not only is it frustrating and inconvenient but it's also painful.  Bummer

My biological alarm clock and won't shut off.  Mike and I are praying and have been talking this into the ground but I feel like I have to bring this back to God daily.  I want to start, which means I want to start what comes next with it all.  No answers, no relief.  Bummer.

I've been feeling lonely and detached.  There's no explanation for it and there isn't anything in particular that any person has said or done, I'm just lonely.  Bummer.

I guess my symphony is coming to a close now.  Thanks for listening, hope you enjoyed the show. 

Christian Romance... oxymoron? Not even close

Something that my friend Dana and I shared in high school (and still do I believe) is our love of Christian Fiction Novels.  My favorite author in this genre is Lori Wick.   

I believe own all of her books (except perhaps one) and although I've read them numerous times since highschool, I just recently started one series again while I determining my next book reading adventures.  Currently I am going through the Kensington Chronicles (probably one of my favorite series of hers). 

There is something rereading these novels that has lightened my heart lately.  These books are not just a cheesy excuse to get my kicks in for romance as the most you get from these characters are a heart felt kiss.  What I was amazing with this time is how everytime one of the characters is worries, distressed, unsure, confused, needing to make an important/life altering decision, desperate for a loved one's salvation, or too busy wrapped up in themselves, they pray.  This is a theme carried throughout all Lori Wick's series and novels.  Her characters are constantly petitioning God and not just on their behalf but for His will, for His direction, His clarity or discernment, His peace if they can't change their predicament, and His Spirit to speak into a person' heart.  How often do I think to myself, "I should pray about that" or tell someone "I'll pray for you" and then do it alone.  In her books, when a character mentions that they should go to God in prayer, Lori Wick writes that prayer then and there in the novel.  When I read her books I find myself constantly talking to God.  I can learn a lesson from these fictional characters.  I need to pray more often and without embarrassment or timidity. 

If you haven't read any of these books and you are looking for something good that will make you sigh because you love romance, try Lori Wick.

What Kind of Mom do I Get to Be?

Recently the subject of children has been frequent in my home and constantly on my heart.  I have almost no rest from my building desire for it.  Only a month ago the idea of being a mom was terrifying and I abhorred the thought.  Something changed almost over night.  Luckily I have a husband who I find to be both wise and careful and unlike me tends to make decisions based on fact and reality while I go head long into my emotions.  Because there are just so many unanswered questions, we are still on the waiting block and on birth control.

Some concerns we both have:
1.  Are we ready for this?  Our "just the two of us" phase would come to a close.  I'd be lying if I said that I haven't loved every minute of getting to married finally.
2.  Can we afford a baby?  I know, I know, I know- you are never really financially ready to have a baby.  The thing is, I'd really like to stay home with our baby at least for a while.  I don't want to use day care as an a option.  Mike and I wholly use both of our incomes and I know that we can make adjustments in our budget but even cutting out cable, coffee, eating out etc, that's not enough for child care by a long shot.  Going down to one income isn't either.  Mike is good with me going back to work and I want to stay home so we aren't quite congruent there.
3.  What if we move?  The possibility is highly likely that will happen soon.  I like my OB/GYN and I'd like to stick with her.  We have family and friends here for support.  Could we do this moving away?
4.  Jobs and careers- I want to get my master's in something.  I want to start soon and I'm not sure both could be afforded or managed.  What comes first?



There are just so many questions and my heart isn't at rest.  I know Jeremiah reminds me that God already knows the plans He has for me and I should in all things, through prayer and petition bring my requests to God.  He isn't worried about any of this and in fact he's already got it all worked out.  I just need a green light.  Better yet, I need God to show Mike the green light and trust my husband's judgment and discernment.  The fact still remains...I want a baby and I think I'm finally ready to be a mom.

All my mom friends out there- I'd love to have your feedback.

Who knew a blue ribbon could make me so happy?

I weighed in again tonight and I lost 2.6 for a total of 22 lbs since starting February.  I have officially dropped another tenths place :)

Here is my wall of bravos...

It's amazing what a couple of little blue ribbons can do

Best Day Ever

Do you have one of those days where you think to yourself, "wow, this has been the best day ever?"  I had that day on Saturday.

For the first Saturday in two months, I didn't have an obligation so I enjoyed a morning of sleeping in with my husband until 11:15.  Wow!  I never sleep that late.

Then I made breakfast for Mike and I followed by a three hour session of World of Warcraft.

In the afternoon, we headed over to our friend's graduation party (she's earned her doctorate!) and then attempted to see our friend perform at Dos Gringos only to realize Mike forgot his ID. 

As a consolation prize however, Mike and I took a leisure walk through Old Town Scottsdale where we found ourselves at Yogurtland for some truly tasty frozen yogurt. 

This was a fantabulous day!

Eating outside the box

I weighed in tonight and lost another 2.8 lbs.  That makes my total 19.6 lbs since I started and tonight was also my 10% weight loss.  I guess research says that when you lose 10% of your body weight, you significantly reduce your chances of developing weight related health issues such as heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes.  That's a huge goal of mine.

On Saturday, I went to a technology conference, which was awesome.  They provided free lunch and at first I thought that was awesome too until I saw my options.

I walked up to the table of boxes and looked at my three options:  Ham and Swiss (no thanks), Tuna (yummy but not even touching the mayonaise there) and turkey (that seems safe).

I open it up to find a nice fluffy croissant (OMG!), followed by three slices of cheese.  I figure that I can just pull the turkey off and wrap it around the lettuce. Let's see what else they have.  1/2 cup serving of potato salad, a bag of lays potato chips, and a gigantic chocolate chip cookie.  Are you joking me?  I made an executive decision...I was eating outside the box. So I left the conference and went out looking...I came across Panda Express.  With their Wok Smart menu, I was able to get a Panda bowl with steamed veggies and String Bean Chicken for 5 points.  Just for kicks I had to compare and see what the box would have been.  Not even joking....








wait for it....









22 points!  Yep, that's right.  I could have eaten more than 4 Panda bowls for that.  My daily allotment is only 25.  Today, I made a great choice!

You like bbq? Forget Dickies, go here instead!

Can I just say "Notorious P.I.G."?  Mike wanted to try it so we stopped by today and all I can say is that is blows Dickies out of the water!  It isn't quite as sophisticated but OMG, it's so good.  We went to the one on 32nd st and Thunderbird but lo and behold, we saw another one at Desert Ridge in the district.

I highly recommend!

Mike's half eaten pulled pork sandwich!  Tasty

On another note, I have officially gone down one whole size.  Today Mike and I celebrated by buying a couple new things.  I didn't want to buy too much because I'm hoping and planning to go down another size soon.  I did realize the motivation of some fabulous workout clothes though.  Check them out, all pink of course!

16 lbs lighter than 8 weeks ago and hopefully more tomorrow!  Thanks to those who offer encouraging words; you really have no idea how helpful they are.