Last Monday after Weight Watchers, I went across the street to Sunflower Market, coincidentally to buy sunflower seeds...funny. Anyway, on my way into the store a lady stops me in the parking lot to say that she's hungry, her food stamps haven't come in, and she needs food. Unfortunately, I had the common reaction of rolling my eyes and getting ready to say "sorry I don't have any money" and walking away. Thankfully what came out of my mouth was a resigned "I don't have cash (because in truth I never do) but I can buy you some food if you want to come in the store." We proceeded inside together where she kept mentioning and grabbing her "oh I just need this" items. I agreed begrudgingly. As we trek through sunflower, in my mind I hear "she's scamming you, this is dumb Leah." What my ears hear is the lady talking about how hard her life is and how she knew she should have gone to church on Sunday but she was just so tired. My ears and heart should have perked right up. She gave me an opening, I didn't even have to try. Here was an open door to share the gospel and she was one who brought it up. But instead of stopping and really asking more and engaging her in conversation, I made some lame remarks about how she should have gone to church and how God was blah blah blah. I honestly don't even remember what nonsense I mumbled to her. I completely wasted my chance. In reality her groceries didn't even cost me $9 but I was so eager for her to be away from me and I was sitting there wondering if her damsel in distress act was legit that I slammed that door shut with a resounding thud. Even now I wonder if Jesus just looked down on me and shook his head. Here, he had brought a hurting and hungry person to me, I didn't have to do a thing but open my mouth and I wasted the moment. I'm so ashamed.
Every Sunday we talk about our mission...to share the gospel and win people for Christ and I fail in the face of being out of my comfort zone. The lady shook my hand and introduced herself by name. She thanked me profusely, but my small monetary donation to her life was empty and pointless because I didn't let God into our very limited time together.
So this got me thinking about all the other times I've stamped out my chance to be Christ to others, like when I attack my husband or lose my temper with my students. When I don't stand up against injustice or allow myself to just be complacent. This isn't a Leah pity party... it hurts to know that I've looked away from opportunities to fulfill my purpose. I missed the mark
8.29.2010
8.02.2010
I Knew I Had a Problem when...
Contrary to what I may have expressed or led people to believe since Weight Watchers has been weight loss journey, it was not my weight gain that ultimately made me realize that I needed to make a change and something was not right in my eating behaviors. You see, my weight gain and hitting the biggest size I've ever been was a result of some patterns and bondage that I had allowed myself to fall into as it related to food.
It is true that I am an emotional eater and boredom eater but more than anything I am a secret eater. There is a wall post in my kitchen that effectively blocks me from Mike's view when he sits on a particular couch. I would stand behind that partition and munch on anything and lots of it. I was purposely hiding while I ate because I was ashamed of eating it or how much of it I was eating.
One day I went to the grocery store and saw 3 Musketeers at the register (my favorite!) and since the candy bars were on sale I bought that one plus a milk way. I figured I would "treat" myself to the 3 Musketeers and save the Milky Way for another day. I tore into my candy bar the second I was in my car. As I was driving, I figured Mike would question the candy bar and be disappointed in me so I decided to eat both in the car and I even went so far as to shove the wrappers in a bag and hide them until I could throw them away. I was disappointed in myself. I felt me starting that horrible shame spiral where I make a bad choice, feel guilty and make another one to cover it. I cried when I went to leave my car because I felt to ashamed of the fact that I was hoarding food and hiding it from my husband.
When I went to talk to Mike you would have thought I was confessing adultery or fraud I was so ashamed. I showed him the wrappers and explained that I ate them in my car and planned to throw them away without his knowing. I had a problem. Food wasn't just causing me to be unhealthy...it was causing me to be in bondage.
I decided it was time to make a change. I started going to Weight Watchers. My doctor had been seriously cautioning me to begin losing weight immediately so he willing wrote me a letter of medical necessity and therefore Flex spending reimbursed my weekly meeting fees. On February 22nd I started to make a change. Since then I have attended WW 24 weeks without missing a meeting. I know many people scoff at a "diet" and say that it's a waste of money. "You just need to watch what you eat, work out more and do everything in moderation." I get so sick of hearing those ridiculous words. For anyone who is overweight, you might agree "moderation" only exists within your ability to have self-control. My problem was that when food was involved I had none. Weight Watchers has taught me how food really interacts with the body and how we process what we take it. In 24 weeks, I've not only lost 31.8 lbs and 2 sizes (yea me!), I've broken my pattern. I eat everything in front of anyone, I'm never ashamed and I feel like eating has just become part of my life instead of the focus of my life. While it's true that I haven't had fast food since Feb. 22, I have eaten at Chick-Fil-A (grilled chicken with half the bun and a side salad with a tbps of reduced cal. dressing) and you know what? I don't feel deprived or let down. I have a french fry (stealing one of Mike or my sister's plate) and then Mike takes them away because he knows it's easier to resist a temptation when it's not there.
My goal date is Oct. 31, 2010 to hit my goal weight and then I'll go into maintenance. The wonderful thing is I know I can make this goal, it's not just a notion. Mike is my biggest advocate and goes out of his way to make my weight loss and healthy eating as easy as possible. I have a wonderful support also in my dietitian friend Thea, my fellow WW buddies father-in-law Glenn, Karen and Joann, my mom who always wants the best of me, and my ultimate cheerleader Kathy. It's so important in any goal that you have people to support you and go along in your journey. Whether it's weight loss or whatever the goal, the first step is to recognize there's a problem and then go forward. As Yoda said "No, there is no try. Do or do not but there is no try"
It is true that I am an emotional eater and boredom eater but more than anything I am a secret eater. There is a wall post in my kitchen that effectively blocks me from Mike's view when he sits on a particular couch. I would stand behind that partition and munch on anything and lots of it. I was purposely hiding while I ate because I was ashamed of eating it or how much of it I was eating.
One day I went to the grocery store and saw 3 Musketeers at the register (my favorite!) and since the candy bars were on sale I bought that one plus a milk way. I figured I would "treat" myself to the 3 Musketeers and save the Milky Way for another day. I tore into my candy bar the second I was in my car. As I was driving, I figured Mike would question the candy bar and be disappointed in me so I decided to eat both in the car and I even went so far as to shove the wrappers in a bag and hide them until I could throw them away. I was disappointed in myself. I felt me starting that horrible shame spiral where I make a bad choice, feel guilty and make another one to cover it. I cried when I went to leave my car because I felt to ashamed of the fact that I was hoarding food and hiding it from my husband.
When I went to talk to Mike you would have thought I was confessing adultery or fraud I was so ashamed. I showed him the wrappers and explained that I ate them in my car and planned to throw them away without his knowing. I had a problem. Food wasn't just causing me to be unhealthy...it was causing me to be in bondage.
I decided it was time to make a change. I started going to Weight Watchers. My doctor had been seriously cautioning me to begin losing weight immediately so he willing wrote me a letter of medical necessity and therefore Flex spending reimbursed my weekly meeting fees. On February 22nd I started to make a change. Since then I have attended WW 24 weeks without missing a meeting. I know many people scoff at a "diet" and say that it's a waste of money. "You just need to watch what you eat, work out more and do everything in moderation." I get so sick of hearing those ridiculous words. For anyone who is overweight, you might agree "moderation" only exists within your ability to have self-control. My problem was that when food was involved I had none. Weight Watchers has taught me how food really interacts with the body and how we process what we take it. In 24 weeks, I've not only lost 31.8 lbs and 2 sizes (yea me!), I've broken my pattern. I eat everything in front of anyone, I'm never ashamed and I feel like eating has just become part of my life instead of the focus of my life. While it's true that I haven't had fast food since Feb. 22, I have eaten at Chick-Fil-A (grilled chicken with half the bun and a side salad with a tbps of reduced cal. dressing) and you know what? I don't feel deprived or let down. I have a french fry (stealing one of Mike or my sister's plate) and then Mike takes them away because he knows it's easier to resist a temptation when it's not there.
My goal date is Oct. 31, 2010 to hit my goal weight and then I'll go into maintenance. The wonderful thing is I know I can make this goal, it's not just a notion. Mike is my biggest advocate and goes out of his way to make my weight loss and healthy eating as easy as possible. I have a wonderful support also in my dietitian friend Thea, my fellow WW buddies father-in-law Glenn, Karen and Joann, my mom who always wants the best of me, and my ultimate cheerleader Kathy. It's so important in any goal that you have people to support you and go along in your journey. Whether it's weight loss or whatever the goal, the first step is to recognize there's a problem and then go forward. As Yoda said "No, there is no try. Do or do not but there is no try"
7.30.2010
Yummy Weight Watcher Meals- try them!
Over the last week I've made some pretty tasty meals and I thought I'd share.
Turkey Meatball Hero Sandwich
Italian Ice Grilled Fruit Dessert- enough for 4 people
Mango slices
peach halved and then sliced again for circles (not quarters)
martini glasses
1 cup of italian ice per person
put all fruit down on a grill pan (or outside I guess). You can coat with a little vegetable oil to get nice marks without burning or drying fruit. Flip once or twice depending on the color of the fruit.
Scoop italian ice into Martini glasses (you can use bowls but the glasses are prettier).
Each glasses gets 3-4 slices of mango and half a peach
You can make a mint simple syrup to drizzle as well.
Slower cooker Chicken and Rice- serves 7 (5.5 points for a serving)
7 skinless, boneless chicken breasts (about 3-4 oz each)
2 cans of 98% fat free cream of chicken
1 can of 98% fat free cream of mushroom
1 1/2 cups of brown or wild rice (your choice)
2 large green bell peppers- rough chop
2 cups of low sodium fat free chicken broth or stock
three garlic cloves
1/2 yellow or sweet onion
Saute onions and garlic in olive oil (a tiny amount- a tsp will coat the pan) Season with salt and pepper (the key to flavor in this dish or rather bland flavors is to season every single layer before they are added)
Only saute until onions are soft.
In a bowl combine, soups, 1 cups of broth, bell peppers and season with salt and pepper
Add onions and garlic and mix. Last add the rice to the mix and stir.
Trim all excess fat from chicken breasts and season with salt and pepper. Layer the chicken breasts in the bottom of your slow cooker. Pour soup and pepper mixture over the top. Add 1/2 cup of broth and gently mix enough to get the mixture under the chicken.
Set to low for 8 hours or high for 4-6 depending on your slow cooker. Leave it alone without opening, stirring etc for the first 4 to 5 hours (for low) or 3 hours (for high). At this point, if the rice has absorbed all liquid, add the last 1/2 cup of broth (or more or less depending on the moisture in your cooker).
Before serving cover with crispy onion stings (adds more points) or chopped scallions (no points)
Turkey Meatball Hero Sandwich
ingredients- I substituted 96% lean ground beef for the turkey though
cooking directions
here's what it should look like. Made to recipe it's 9 points for each sandwich. I made Mike's with a white italian Hoagie so that sandwich would have more points.
Italian Ice Grilled Fruit Dessert- enough for 4 people
Mango slices
peach halved and then sliced again for circles (not quarters)
martini glasses
1 cup of italian ice per person
put all fruit down on a grill pan (or outside I guess). You can coat with a little vegetable oil to get nice marks without burning or drying fruit. Flip once or twice depending on the color of the fruit.
Scoop italian ice into Martini glasses (you can use bowls but the glasses are prettier).
Each glasses gets 3-4 slices of mango and half a peach
You can make a mint simple syrup to drizzle as well.
Slower cooker Chicken and Rice- serves 7 (5.5 points for a serving)
7 skinless, boneless chicken breasts (about 3-4 oz each)
2 cans of 98% fat free cream of chicken
1 can of 98% fat free cream of mushroom
1 1/2 cups of brown or wild rice (your choice)
2 large green bell peppers- rough chop
2 cups of low sodium fat free chicken broth or stock
three garlic cloves
1/2 yellow or sweet onion
Saute onions and garlic in olive oil (a tiny amount- a tsp will coat the pan) Season with salt and pepper (the key to flavor in this dish or rather bland flavors is to season every single layer before they are added)
Only saute until onions are soft.
In a bowl combine, soups, 1 cups of broth, bell peppers and season with salt and pepper
Add onions and garlic and mix. Last add the rice to the mix and stir.
Trim all excess fat from chicken breasts and season with salt and pepper. Layer the chicken breasts in the bottom of your slow cooker. Pour soup and pepper mixture over the top. Add 1/2 cup of broth and gently mix enough to get the mixture under the chicken.
Set to low for 8 hours or high for 4-6 depending on your slow cooker. Leave it alone without opening, stirring etc for the first 4 to 5 hours (for low) or 3 hours (for high). At this point, if the rice has absorbed all liquid, add the last 1/2 cup of broth (or more or less depending on the moisture in your cooker).
Before serving cover with crispy onion stings (adds more points) or chopped scallions (no points)
7.29.2010
Smell is the strongest link to memory
I was making breakfast for Mike and I the other morning (Wheat and Honey pancakes, 2 tbsp of lite syrup and 2 pieces of Turkey bacon- 3.5 points) and I my senses were assailed with familiar memories of my grandfather. For anyone who knew my grandfather, they would agree that he was a man of purpose and accomplishment. He worked harder than anyone I know and could build something out of nothing without blinking twice. I can attribute so many of my happy childhood memories to him. He had this way about him when he cooked breakfast. "Get out of my kitchen" he would tell us (grandkids). In one breakfast he would fix bacon, sausage, eggs, flapjacks, biscuits and gravy (especially those) and it all simmered in the leftover bacon grease that lived in the cast iron skillet that was older than me. Well, when I made breakfast for Mike and me the other morning, I felt like I was back in his kitchen, waiting patiently for breakfast (well, let's not kid- I'm rarely patient).
Here are a few pictures to capture some moments we spent together:
Here are a few pictures to capture some moments we spent together:
Who knows what we were pointing to
That's my teething ring on my head
Every year we carved pumpkins together
The glare is from the sheet protector
It was a sweet memory that came back to me Wednesday morning.
7.19.2010
Marvin the Fawn Pig goes to the vet
Doesn't that just sound like the name of funny kid's book? Today I took Roxie and Norman to the vet for some vaccines and blood work (nothing's wrong- we assume) and good old fashioned check ups. Even though we live in the North Valley, we take our pets to Camelwest Animal Hospital in the west valley. My friend Ryan who I went to college with is my vet there. Can I just say it's still strange to call him Dr. Ainsworth.
Anyway, the drive is well worth it because they are just wonderful with my strange pets. I highly recommend!
Anyway, I captured a few highlights from our visit today
Right after his blood work. I call this his elvis look because his lip gets stuck in his tooth.
And this is Roxie...she did really well but was scared so she hid behind and under things
Anyway, the drive is well worth it because they are just wonderful with my strange pets. I highly recommend!
Anyway, I captured a few highlights from our visit today
she has the annoyed look down really well
Poor little thing. She wasn't even yelling at me
All's well that ends well though
6.30.2010
My Hawaiian Vacation- as promised
I returned from Hawaii on Tuesday morning after my first 6 day stay in Kaua'i. This had to have been the most beautiful and the most peaceful place I've visited. Time ceased to exist for seven days and Glenn and I spent the majority of our time doing nothing very fast and going no where in a hurry. We went to several awesome restaurants with great food, including my first dining experience at the St. Regis. We visited the light house, went on a Sunset dinner cruise to see the Napali Coast, basically drove the entire island and in general just enjoyed the sights. There are plants and animals on the island that I've never seen before including purple palm trees and chickens that run free. Included below are some of the photos that either myself or Glenn took. The captions are on the photos. We stayed in Princeville in a condo that's a part of Pali Ke Kua. These pictures are taken around the condo.
These pictures are from around the island...
Finally, these pictures were taken on the boat cruise up the Napali Coast.
I can't wait to go back and visit. What an amazing trip! Thank you to Glenn, my wonderful father-in-law for making it all happen. It was just like magic!
6.19.2010
At our one year...looking back
Today I have been married to the one person I've loved more than anyone else for a year. Although we are celebrating our one year wedding anniversary, our journey has lasted for much longer than that. Mike has transformed my life in ways I can't find words to describe. Here is our journey...
At Drew's wedding in the fall of 2004. We were only 22.
Our first official date at BJ's Brewery for Mike's birthday Jan. 2005. Mike was 23
First spring break in Florida March 2005
Spending time with Mike's friends: Jonathan, David, Fonz, Nate, Cassidy, and Yvette
My graduation from ASU December 2005
One Year anniversary celebrated at Disneyland with Krista, Tracy, Amber and Garrett
When we took Good Shepherd Youth to Ski Fest in Utah February 2006
Joann and Josh's wedding. My first time officiating. We made a dashing couple
Very special mother's day spent with Mike's mom Scottie
Summer vacation to the Grand Canyon July 2006
Christmas in Colorado at Estes Park December 2007
Celebrating Mike's new job with JFCS at Sapporo
Engaged April 10, 2009
Exchanging our vows and rings. Making the decision to join my life with Mike's forever
The beginning of our life together.
June 19, 2009
There are so many memories that happened in between but I just couldn't recount them all even if I had endless time. God has granted me so many precious experiences and memories with my beloved.
Happy Anniversary Michael. Here's to our next 6 years and beyond.
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