God finally spoke!

I've been on this super dry spell lately where I feel like I haven't been able to hear anything from God.  Of course this is my fault for not putting myself in places where God could speak through my ranting and crying and "what ifs..."

Today, God finally spoke!

Mike and I have been debating this issue of corrective eye surgery for me and the process has not been easy.  The surgery would require a huge financial commitment that we really aren't able to make with financing the process AKA more debt.  We are supposed to have an appt. with my eye surgeon on Monday and Mike wanted us to be sure of our decision before going into the appt.  I was so stressed by thinking about it that I asked Mike to pray about it and decide and I would respect whatever decision he made (so much easier said than done by the way).

This morning at Tres Dias, I felt that block again like I couldn't come to God.  I asked Him to tell what was the way and he spoke so clearly.  I wrote it all down...

"God does not call us to be in debt (too late for me).  When the door has been opened to this opportunity (my eye surgery) then God will provide the clarity and finances.  It won't cause disunity or doubt, it won't be frustrating and it will not drown us in financial depression. 
We are not called to battle flesh and blood but instead the forces of evil (anyone know the address on that one).  This decision has caused animosity between my husband and me and it has caused me to be dissatisfied with my flesh.  I need to refocus on loving and honoring my husband and pursuing my relationship with God. This potential eye surgery has distracted me so it is not the right time.  The things that keep us from God must be disgarded."

the problem was the FLEX spending I already set aside and must spend or I lose that money.  I could use the money on the following:
1.  a mouthgaurd from my dentist for my TMJ
2.  a weight loss program (not sure if FLEX reimburses for that)
3.  new glasses and longer supply of contacts
4.  visiting a back specialist for my depressed lower disks.
5.  teeth bonding

Ultimately the peace I feel after this decision is so amazing.  When I came home I read this to Mike and he told me that he had also been praying and was going to say the same thing.  Confirmation is always a sign of God. 

So for now... no eye surgery but instead I'm being in God' will and that's so much more necessary.