The words submission and surrender tend to cause women's hackles to rise and our chests to puff up in indignation. I think due in large part to our society and ongoing development of the feminist movement, the words submission and surrender imply weakness, deficit, and degradation. However, on the contrary, the Bible displays these terms in honorable, loving, and worthy ways.
Why am I writing about this?
This summer has led Mike and I on our first house buying experience. We are the property virgins! How very fitting that I refer to us that way because I certainly went into this process envisioning us looking at three amazing houses, all of which would be waiting and available for us to mull over, and with sellers who were more than willing to pay our closing costs. Oh I was wrong!
We have been up against deadlines (our lease ending, the school year starting, a baby on the way) and a less than desirable market (increasing interest rates, modest budget, and competitive market). The combination of all these factors made for a more stressful summer than we could have imagined.
A few weeks ago we found a lovely home and put in a bid, which was beat by another buyer. This caused us to go into something of a frenzy, feeling absolutely positive that we had to buy something right away or we would never find a home. Another home came along that just happened to belong to our wedding photographer. We decided to bid and it was accepted. We thought everything was perfect because the seller was even willing to negotiate with us and for a while we felt relieved that our house buying nightmare was ending. It wasn't.
The day before our inspection period ended, we met with the inspector and had a chance to see the house for the second time. Mike came to me that night with a gut feeling that something wasn't right. He just knew this wasn't our house. I of course was adamant that he was wrong! I knew our finances, interest rates were going up, the yard was great etc etc etc. I just knew that I was right and was very upset that Mike would put our family's future in danger because of some fleeting reservations. After hours of prayer (on his part, definitely not mine), Mike asked me to please trust him as my husband to make the right decision even if it wasn't the one I thought we should make. I said yes and then went to bed in a complete state of panic. The next morning I woke up with a sense of calm and peace that I can't find words to describe. I knew God was telling me to submit to my husband's will. Suddenly I was relieved that I didn't have to worry about the decision anymore. I know that day was really hard for Mike because our contract was final at midnight. The whole process was more difficult because we had to contend with hurting a friend's feelings by backing out on someone we knew. Ultimately Mike made the decision to cancel our contract. It was heartbreaking and we definitely took a financial loss in the decision.
The next day (Friday) I started chatting with my friend Cheryl from Tres Dias and as a real estate professional herself she had much encouragement and advice to offer. She suggested we meet for coffee the next morning, which we did.
Cheryl came to me on Saturday morning having spent time in prayer herself for Mike and me. Her first words of wisdom after hearing me rant and rave were, "you and Mike need to rest. God never intended for us to strive like this. Making huge financial decisions while you are this stressed is not smart and ultimately you need to rest in Him." Wow!
After sharing some other steps and ideas as well, I went home and shared Cheryl's advice and after praying together, Mike and I decided to give up house hunting for the rest of the weekend. No looking at our portal, no researching lenders, we just decided to rest for the weekend. I won't say surrendering in this way was easy because I am a doer and I could hear that nagging voice saying, "there is a house out there that someone else is scooping up right now." Oh shut up, stupid voice!
Fast forward to Monday morning. Cheryl's husband Fred sent me a couple listings to check out and my realtor's portal updated. Guess what popped up? Our dream home!!!! It was back on the market...WHAT!!! I called Mike and we put in an offer right away. Guess what? Not only did the seller accept but he offered to pay our closing costs!
This is what happens when we submit and surrender. That is the lesson I've learned here. I submitted to my husband's will and allowed him to make the right decision (my decision would have been wrong). Then we submitted to God and He demonstrated that He is in control, He already had a plan for the home we were supposed to have. I surrendered my will, my timing, my desire, and my insistence that I knew best and ultimately, we ended up with a home more perfect than we could have imagined, we saved .4% on our new interest rate, and we ended up with a little more cash in our pocket to work on some home renos. On top of that, we are closing with a month to spare before our lease is up so we have some leisure with moving.
Lesson learned...there is something beautiful and perfect in submission and surrender. They are not bad words.
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