a different kind of bravo

At weight watchers, you are encouraged to share your weight loss successes and when you do, no matter how small, you get a bravo sticker.  I have collected several of those now...

Tonight I had a different kind of bravo, it wasn't weight related since I didn't lose any this week (broke even).  Last week was the first time that since I started this round's weight loss journey that three different people on different occasions mentioned that they could tell I had lost some weight.  I shared that fun bit of news tonight and I got a bravo sticker.

I forget with my end goal in mind that there are so many small successes along the way.  Tonight I went to my first Zumba class all by myself.  I have this debilitating complex where my fear of what people think of me and looking dumb will keep me from doing all sorts of things that I'd like.  Tonight was almost one of the times as I stood at the back of the class and debated when I should jump in (I came late).  I may have stood there longer letting my $10 go down the drain if one of the trainers hadn't come over and started doing the moves with me.  It wasn't until way into the routine that I noticed even she wasn't doing all the moves as well as the instructor.  Silly Leah.  I came away with a fantastic workout.

I forget to remember such little but very encouraging victories.  I read my best friend blog tonight after my meeting.  I was so encouraged as she shared about powering through her 10 mile run while fasting.  It was no easy feat but I learned much from her in that story.  The harder her run became, the more she zoned in on Jesus.  He provided little things she needed to get her through the run including a break, a sermon to listen to on her Ipod, some friends from her small group who happened to show up on that same trail.  God gives me those little things too.  A husband that lights up whenever he sees me making a good choice whether or not it results in weight loss, a friend who is waiting for my text after my meeting and continues to offer me weight watchers tips through the week to stay on track, my students who stand up and cheer for me each time I tell them I lost only 1 more pound. 

Tonight was a different kind of bravo but it was a bravo.  I pray that you will consider what you deserve a bravo for.

Excited face or not excited face

Have you ever thought about how another person's reaction to seeing you makes you feel?  For some reason this has been on my mind lately as a teacher and as a friend.  At school I stand outside my door when my kids are coming in and I've noticed my students' reaction depending on how I greet them.  When I am sort of blase in my greeting and lazy smile, they return the same reaction.  However, two of my 8th graders rounded the corner, I got so excited to see them (it wasn't an act) and you should have seen the look on their face. 

On the other side, I just saw two different friends.  One of them gave me a huge smile and was seemed really happy to see me.  The other while I'm sure what also happy to see me as she usually is, did not seem today particularly excited that I was there and I realized inside of myself how differently that felt.

So the lesson I learn from this experience is that I'm not sure we realize the impact that our passion for people can invoke in them.  People might tend to label me as too exuberant or emotional but I get to experience first hand how a person's face lights up when I take my excitement level up a notch. 

Some new adventures

I mentioned in my last post that I had joined Weight Watchers, and that continues to be successful and exciting.  I lost 2.2 more pounds last week taking my two week total to 8 lbs.  I'm very near my 5% goal.  I go again tonight and am excited to see what happens.  In addition to watching what I eat, I've added exercise to the mix.  On Saturday I tried my first Zumba class.  Besides basically floundering about like a fish out of water, I really enjoyed myself.  Today my arms and abs and legs are all sore...the good kind.  I used the activity calculator to see how many points I earned and it was 9!  OMG, that's astonishing.  I want to keep on keepin on and taking on this journey because results are invigorating.

We officially only have 1 quarter left of school and I admit that my heart is breaking just a little.  I love my students and teaching this year.  Everyone told me that if you can make it through your first three years, things will change afterward and they were right.  It's a wonderful twist to desperately miss the students who haven't even graduated yet rather than eagerly count the days until their departure. 

Stay tuned for an update after tonight's meeting...

Almost 5%

I started Weight Watchers last week and I was both sad and frustrated by how much weight I had gained...

since high school
since losing a ton of weight in college
even since my wedding

I was dedicated to the program this week though and it paid off because I lost 5.6 lbs my first week.  Now I could be pessimistic and say that it was just water weight or maybe I was bloated.  I'm choosing to just be really excited and proud of myself.  I tracked every bite of food going into my mouth for a week and was astonished that when I don't think about what I eat at all, in goes the junk.  When I really thought about each little bite I became so aware of how much goes in my mouth. 

I can't pinpoint the reason but I came home super excited!!!!

Worst Week or Best Learning Experience?

Let's face it, this last week was a rough one.  Everyday, I went to work and either by my students or specific co-workers I was beaten into the ground repeatedly.  Alas, the weekend!

I was reminded this morning of the Armor of God.  I realize that I didn't take time this week to stand with the belt of truth around my waist- the truth that my worth is absolutely ONLY measured by the Lord who created me himself.  Whew, it is tough when you are being attacked and have no defense.  The unfortunate part of this week was that it also had some great news as well.  My new intern is brilliant and she's eager; a super combination. 

I did an activity with one of my classes where they wrote the 3 things that they could consider themselves to be the best at on one side and then 3 things that they do not have the physical capacity to do.  So otherwise strengths and weaknesses.  They participated like I hoped they would and I asked them at the end to consider what it would feel like if someone or many people took their most vulnerable weakness and constantly reminded them everyday over a period of time and compared what they COULDN'T do to the BEST that someone else COULD do.  I had some blank stares, some knowing looks, and some nods.  Sometimes working with teenagers is so hard because their natural tendency towards ego-centrism came be so taxing and hurtful to others.

So now, was this the worst week ever or was it just a great learning experience? 

Simile gone very wrong

Most of you know that I teach at a low income, free and reduced lunch school.  This is a clip from the Daily Show with Jon Stewart where the lt. Governor of South Carolina makes a comparison between low income children and stray animals.  It's crazy...especially if you come from a low income family or have taught them yourself.
(it might make you watch a 30 sec advertisement)


Daily Show video clip

There's just not much to say after that video.

God finally spoke!

I've been on this super dry spell lately where I feel like I haven't been able to hear anything from God.  Of course this is my fault for not putting myself in places where God could speak through my ranting and crying and "what ifs..."

Today, God finally spoke!

Mike and I have been debating this issue of corrective eye surgery for me and the process has not been easy.  The surgery would require a huge financial commitment that we really aren't able to make with financing the process AKA more debt.  We are supposed to have an appt. with my eye surgeon on Monday and Mike wanted us to be sure of our decision before going into the appt.  I was so stressed by thinking about it that I asked Mike to pray about it and decide and I would respect whatever decision he made (so much easier said than done by the way).

This morning at Tres Dias, I felt that block again like I couldn't come to God.  I asked Him to tell what was the way and he spoke so clearly.  I wrote it all down...

"God does not call us to be in debt (too late for me).  When the door has been opened to this opportunity (my eye surgery) then God will provide the clarity and finances.  It won't cause disunity or doubt, it won't be frustrating and it will not drown us in financial depression. 
We are not called to battle flesh and blood but instead the forces of evil (anyone know the address on that one).  This decision has caused animosity between my husband and me and it has caused me to be dissatisfied with my flesh.  I need to refocus on loving and honoring my husband and pursuing my relationship with God. This potential eye surgery has distracted me so it is not the right time.  The things that keep us from God must be disgarded."

the problem was the FLEX spending I already set aside and must spend or I lose that money.  I could use the money on the following:
1.  a mouthgaurd from my dentist for my TMJ
2.  a weight loss program (not sure if FLEX reimburses for that)
3.  new glasses and longer supply of contacts
4.  visiting a back specialist for my depressed lower disks.
5.  teeth bonding

Ultimately the peace I feel after this decision is so amazing.  When I came home I read this to Mike and he told me that he had also been praying and was going to say the same thing.  Confirmation is always a sign of God. 

So for now... no eye surgery but instead I'm being in God' will and that's so much more necessary.