Merry Christmas- holiday 2010 photo shoot

In case you didn't my father-in-law is a gifted photographer. He has an eye for poses and capturing people that I have never seen!  He took mine and Mike's christmas photos and here were some of his results. I have edited and touched them up with Picnik! My favorite editing site ever :)

This was NOT posed, I was laughing at how he was asking me to try posing.

These are two photos fused. We went to the Cloud!

another trying to pose but not quite getting there. Mike is so goofy when he takes pics.

Total pose of course...love the gaze though. Hey- we look like we like each other!

Merry Christmas friends!!!  This is just the best time of year :)

I'm a grump

I admit, I am such a scrooge right now. Everyone and everything is so annoying. Such as:

If people are going to drive under the speed limit (significantly) then why are they driving the in fast lane? There is a lane designated for them.
Why do people insist on talking loud enough for everyone in a place to hear? Yes- I understand that the natural register of my voice is rather high
Why do strangers need to bring attention to the dumb mistake they just made by pointing it out to you a second time when you didn't care to notice it the first?
Why do girls where shorts that won't cover a quarter of their thigh with a parka and Uggs?
Oh and going back to driving, you do not have to come to a complete stop to turn right when there is no light or stop sign. Just sayin.

I need to go eat some termite pie or something.

Isn't that the new phone from Verizon?

I love love love teaching sometimes (well more than sometimes) because kids can just say the most hilarious stuff sometimes.

Hopefully we all remember last year's exchange during our human body unit studying heart complications:
Student 1: "Mrs. Jenks, what exactly is cholestrol?"
Student 2: "It's when you get a french fry stuck in your artery"
Classic!

Yesterday is happened again, this time in my 3/4 class but coincidentally still in our human body unit. We are studying muscles and the kids were in groups identifying them.
Student 1: pointing to the shoulder "hmmm, the deltoid" (pause) "isn't that one of those phones from Verizon?"
I couldn't help it, I got the mistake immediately and giggled. The other students (bless their hearts) were a little confused.
Mrs. Jenks: "No that's the android phone- these are deltoids"
Student: "oh" (still looking confused)

In addition to loving being a teacher, I am mostly loving being a student. I am in my second class at GCU right now and I'm not gonna lie...it is no cake walk my friends. My joke right now is that I have two consistent relationships: 1 with my computer and 1 with the nice baristas at Starbucks that keep me caffeinated enough to maintain a working relationship with my computer.
I keep on keeping on though and I owe all my endurance to God who continues to bless me and instruct me even though it's so easy for me to put Him on the backburner when my plate is full and my husband who on more than occasion patiently counted to 10 while I sat on the living room floor yelling and complaining. He's such a trooper.

To all my beloved friends: my complete lack of any type of follow through is not because I don't love and miss you all, I do I do I do I just can't find time to sleep as much as I should so please don't take it personally. If you can, come drag me out for an hour so I can pretend that I have some life outside of school.

On a way way upside, Weight Watchers just started its new program and while I am having to relearn everything, it seems fantastic!  Can I just say zero point fruit? No joke, I have eaten so many bananas already!!!! 


Hopefully I can write again before two months go by but if not- February looks great!

Seeing myself through others' eyes

I'm not going to lie, this title was spurred by my recent viewing of Avatar but I was thinking about the theme song a bit and it intrigued me.  I've had many people tell me that my view of reality is rather distorted.  I interpret life and people through my perspective (and so does everyone else) but my perspective isn't usually accurate.  In light of that, I have to be really careful how I take emails, comments, looks, remarks, and body language from people around me.  I wondered how others see me though...

I fee like I'm either really good at seeing my mistakes, my faults, my shortcomings, my least becoming qualities...or I see myself as better than I am.  I think I'm a better wife than I am or a better teacher.  I think I am more understanding that I really am or a better friend.  Either way, what do other people really see?  I asked my bf, Amber this once and I'm not sure she really knew how to answer me.  I think about the love and understanding my husband rains on me and I'm dumbfounded because I just snapped at him for not taking the trash out.  Some of friends are amazingly gracious if I haven't called in a while or drop the ball on our friendship and I don't understand why (although I am so grateful).

There are people in my life with the capacity to see me in ways I can't see myself.  I want to see myself through their eyes, through God's eyes.  Everyday it is reconfirmed that God has chosen and designed me for Michael because he sees me without my imperfections and faults.  How is that?  What would I look like through others' eyes?

I'm a student....again

I can't believe I finally took the step, I started my master's degree in Education Administration officially today!  I read the syllabus last night and my first reaction of course was OMG, what did I do?  My principal who is always amazing and encouraging of course told me that I have support built right in and I will find the coursework more manageable than I think.  My husband reminded me of how terrified I felt my freshman year of undergrad but by the end, even as classes were harder, I was able to manage so much better.

I think my big whoa right now is my load.  I realized that I filled myself up pretty much to brimming at least for this semester and this school year.   At a glance it looks like this:

NJHS advisor- breast cancer awareness week, fall festival and fright night, induction ceremony, and fundraising to go to Chicago (february)
New intern just started today and with my till December
Full time teacher of course- subjects: 3-8 gifted science and 1-4 technology
ELD paperwork extraordinaire (in all my extra time)
Serving on weekend 19 of Tres Dias in the most challenging position to date
Full time masters degree in administration
Planning to possibly work on starting a family this winter
Mentor for high school student- which I love doing!!!

Of course there is that little thing of spending time with my husband, cleaning my house, grocery shopping, cooking meals, etc etc etc.
And I want to try to maintain my friendships so they don't all think I don't care (please be gracious with me)

I just keep remembering that God said his burden is easy and his yolk is light. 

I missed the mark...

Last Monday after Weight Watchers, I went across the street to Sunflower Market, coincidentally to buy sunflower seeds...funny.  Anyway, on my way into the store a lady stops me in the parking lot to say that she's hungry, her food stamps haven't come in, and she needs food.  Unfortunately, I had the common reaction of rolling my eyes and getting ready to say "sorry I don't have any money" and walking away.  Thankfully what came out of my mouth was a resigned "I don't have cash (because in truth I never do) but I can buy you some food if you want to come in the store."  We proceeded inside together where she kept mentioning and grabbing her "oh I just need this" items.  I agreed begrudgingly.  As we trek through sunflower, in my mind I hear "she's scamming you, this is dumb Leah."  What my ears hear is the lady talking about how hard her life is and how she knew she should have gone to church on Sunday but she was just so tired.  My ears and heart should have perked right up.  She gave me an opening, I didn't even have to try.  Here was an open door to share the gospel and she was one who brought it up.  But instead of stopping and really asking more and engaging her in conversation, I made some lame remarks about how she should have gone to church and how God was blah blah blah.  I honestly don't even remember what nonsense I mumbled to her.  I completely wasted my chance.  In reality her groceries didn't even cost me $9 but I was so eager for her to be away from me and I was sitting there wondering if her damsel in distress act was legit that I slammed that door shut with a resounding thud.  Even now I wonder if Jesus just looked down on me and shook his head.  Here, he had brought a hurting and hungry person to me, I didn't have to do a thing but open my mouth and I wasted the moment.  I'm so ashamed.

Every Sunday we talk about our mission...to share the gospel and win people for Christ and I fail in the face of being out of my comfort zone.  The lady shook my hand and introduced herself by name.  She thanked me profusely, but my small monetary donation to her life was empty and pointless because I didn't let God into our very limited time together. 

So this got me thinking about all the other times I've stamped out my chance to be Christ to others, like when I attack my husband or lose my temper with my students.  When I don't stand up against injustice or allow myself to just be complacent.  This isn't a Leah pity party... it hurts to know that I've looked away from opportunities to fulfill my purpose.  I missed the mark

I Knew I Had a Problem when...

Contrary to what I may have expressed or led people to believe since Weight Watchers has been weight loss journey, it was not my weight gain that ultimately made me realize that I needed to make a change and something was not right in my eating behaviors.  You see, my weight gain and hitting the biggest size I've ever been was a result of some patterns and bondage that I had allowed myself to fall into as it related to food. 

It is true that I am an emotional eater and boredom eater but more than anything I am a secret eater.  There is a wall post in my kitchen that effectively blocks me from Mike's view when he sits on a particular couch.  I would stand behind that partition and munch on anything and lots of it.  I was purposely hiding while I ate because I was ashamed of eating it or how much of it I was eating.

One day I went to the grocery store and saw 3 Musketeers at the register (my favorite!) and since the candy bars were on sale I bought that one plus a milk way.  I figured I would "treat" myself to the 3 Musketeers and save the Milky Way for another day.  I tore into my candy bar the second I was in my car.  As I was driving, I figured Mike would question the candy bar and be disappointed in me so I decided to eat both in the car and I even went so far as to shove the wrappers in a bag and hide them until I could throw them away.  I was disappointed in myself.  I felt me starting that horrible shame spiral where I make a bad choice, feel guilty and make another one to cover it.  I cried when I went to leave my car because I felt to ashamed of the fact that I was hoarding food and hiding it from my husband. 










When I went to talk to Mike you would have thought I was confessing adultery or fraud I was so ashamed.  I showed him the wrappers and explained that I ate them in my car and planned to throw them away without his knowing.  I had a problem.  Food wasn't just causing me to be unhealthy...it was causing me to be in bondage. 



I decided it was time to make a change.  I started going to Weight Watchers.  My doctor had been seriously cautioning me to begin losing weight immediately so he willing wrote me a letter of medical necessity and therefore Flex spending reimbursed my weekly meeting fees.  On February 22nd I started to make a change.  Since then I have attended WW 24 weeks without missing a meeting.  I know many people scoff at a "diet" and say that it's a waste of money.  "You just need to watch what you eat, work out more and do everything in moderation."  I get so sick of hearing those ridiculous words.  For anyone who is overweight, you might agree "moderation" only exists within your ability to have self-control.  My problem was that when food was involved I had none.  Weight Watchers has taught me how food really interacts with the body and how we process what we take it.  In 24 weeks, I've not only lost 31.8 lbs and 2 sizes (yea me!), I've broken my pattern.  I eat everything in front of anyone, I'm never ashamed and I feel like eating has just become part of my life instead of the focus of my life. While it's true that I haven't had fast food since Feb. 22, I have eaten at Chick-Fil-A (grilled chicken with half the bun and a side salad with a tbps of reduced cal. dressing) and you know what?  I don't feel deprived or let down.  I have a french fry (stealing one of Mike or my sister's plate) and then Mike takes them away because he knows it's easier to resist a temptation when it's not there. 


 My goal date is Oct. 31, 2010 to hit my goal weight and then I'll go into maintenance.  The wonderful thing is I know I can make this goal, it's not just a notion.  Mike is my biggest advocate and goes out of his way to make my weight loss and healthy eating as easy as possible.  I have a wonderful support also in my dietitian friend Thea, my fellow WW buddies father-in-law Glenn, Karen and Joann, my mom who always wants the best of me, and my ultimate cheerleader Kathy.  It's so important in any goal that you have people to support you and go along in your journey.  Whether it's weight loss or whatever the goal, the first step is to recognize there's a problem and then go forward.  As Yoda said "No, there is no try.  Do or do not but there is no try"