For we need a little positive, right this very minute

This week was tough with my food decisions, not gonna lie. For people who have never struggled with how much they weigh, that sounds so trite and meaningless but if you have struggled with your weight and what you eat, you may understand the frustration of such a bad week.

However- at my meeting tonight I started jotting down some seriously positive things that have happened this week alone:
1. I made my first batch of black beans from scratch. From those tasty beans came 5 pre-packaged lunches for the week!
2. I found some new items that are lower in points on the new WW program. I recommend:
            Sara Lee 45 Calorie Delight bread- 2 slices, 2 points, great value
3. Several people have been inspired to join weight watchers because of my weight loss stories. I don't mean to boast but to point out the value of transparency. There are so many "diets" that just don't work and WW does! Sharing your weight loss journey and being willing to share that you are an overweight person can be vulnerable but when people know they are not alone, they are more apt to share their struggles as well.
4. I am healthier, fitter, thinner, and full of more nutrients now than I have been since high school. This is my smallest size ever!
5. I have made several great friends, including my WW buddy Karen through this journey.
In case you haven't seen, here are the before and after shots:

Before: January 2010

After Dec 2010

Merry Christmas- holiday 2010 photo shoot

In case you didn't my father-in-law is a gifted photographer. He has an eye for poses and capturing people that I have never seen!  He took mine and Mike's christmas photos and here were some of his results. I have edited and touched them up with Picnik! My favorite editing site ever :)

This was NOT posed, I was laughing at how he was asking me to try posing.

These are two photos fused. We went to the Cloud!

another trying to pose but not quite getting there. Mike is so goofy when he takes pics.

Total pose of course...love the gaze though. Hey- we look like we like each other!

Merry Christmas friends!!!  This is just the best time of year :)

I'm a grump

I admit, I am such a scrooge right now. Everyone and everything is so annoying. Such as:

If people are going to drive under the speed limit (significantly) then why are they driving the in fast lane? There is a lane designated for them.
Why do people insist on talking loud enough for everyone in a place to hear? Yes- I understand that the natural register of my voice is rather high
Why do strangers need to bring attention to the dumb mistake they just made by pointing it out to you a second time when you didn't care to notice it the first?
Why do girls where shorts that won't cover a quarter of their thigh with a parka and Uggs?
Oh and going back to driving, you do not have to come to a complete stop to turn right when there is no light or stop sign. Just sayin.

I need to go eat some termite pie or something.

Isn't that the new phone from Verizon?

I love love love teaching sometimes (well more than sometimes) because kids can just say the most hilarious stuff sometimes.

Hopefully we all remember last year's exchange during our human body unit studying heart complications:
Student 1: "Mrs. Jenks, what exactly is cholestrol?"
Student 2: "It's when you get a french fry stuck in your artery"
Classic!

Yesterday is happened again, this time in my 3/4 class but coincidentally still in our human body unit. We are studying muscles and the kids were in groups identifying them.
Student 1: pointing to the shoulder "hmmm, the deltoid" (pause) "isn't that one of those phones from Verizon?"
I couldn't help it, I got the mistake immediately and giggled. The other students (bless their hearts) were a little confused.
Mrs. Jenks: "No that's the android phone- these are deltoids"
Student: "oh" (still looking confused)

In addition to loving being a teacher, I am mostly loving being a student. I am in my second class at GCU right now and I'm not gonna lie...it is no cake walk my friends. My joke right now is that I have two consistent relationships: 1 with my computer and 1 with the nice baristas at Starbucks that keep me caffeinated enough to maintain a working relationship with my computer.
I keep on keeping on though and I owe all my endurance to God who continues to bless me and instruct me even though it's so easy for me to put Him on the backburner when my plate is full and my husband who on more than occasion patiently counted to 10 while I sat on the living room floor yelling and complaining. He's such a trooper.

To all my beloved friends: my complete lack of any type of follow through is not because I don't love and miss you all, I do I do I do I just can't find time to sleep as much as I should so please don't take it personally. If you can, come drag me out for an hour so I can pretend that I have some life outside of school.

On a way way upside, Weight Watchers just started its new program and while I am having to relearn everything, it seems fantastic!  Can I just say zero point fruit? No joke, I have eaten so many bananas already!!!! 


Hopefully I can write again before two months go by but if not- February looks great!

Seeing myself through others' eyes

I'm not going to lie, this title was spurred by my recent viewing of Avatar but I was thinking about the theme song a bit and it intrigued me.  I've had many people tell me that my view of reality is rather distorted.  I interpret life and people through my perspective (and so does everyone else) but my perspective isn't usually accurate.  In light of that, I have to be really careful how I take emails, comments, looks, remarks, and body language from people around me.  I wondered how others see me though...

I fee like I'm either really good at seeing my mistakes, my faults, my shortcomings, my least becoming qualities...or I see myself as better than I am.  I think I'm a better wife than I am or a better teacher.  I think I am more understanding that I really am or a better friend.  Either way, what do other people really see?  I asked my bf, Amber this once and I'm not sure she really knew how to answer me.  I think about the love and understanding my husband rains on me and I'm dumbfounded because I just snapped at him for not taking the trash out.  Some of friends are amazingly gracious if I haven't called in a while or drop the ball on our friendship and I don't understand why (although I am so grateful).

There are people in my life with the capacity to see me in ways I can't see myself.  I want to see myself through their eyes, through God's eyes.  Everyday it is reconfirmed that God has chosen and designed me for Michael because he sees me without my imperfections and faults.  How is that?  What would I look like through others' eyes?

I'm a student....again

I can't believe I finally took the step, I started my master's degree in Education Administration officially today!  I read the syllabus last night and my first reaction of course was OMG, what did I do?  My principal who is always amazing and encouraging of course told me that I have support built right in and I will find the coursework more manageable than I think.  My husband reminded me of how terrified I felt my freshman year of undergrad but by the end, even as classes were harder, I was able to manage so much better.

I think my big whoa right now is my load.  I realized that I filled myself up pretty much to brimming at least for this semester and this school year.   At a glance it looks like this:

NJHS advisor- breast cancer awareness week, fall festival and fright night, induction ceremony, and fundraising to go to Chicago (february)
New intern just started today and with my till December
Full time teacher of course- subjects: 3-8 gifted science and 1-4 technology
ELD paperwork extraordinaire (in all my extra time)
Serving on weekend 19 of Tres Dias in the most challenging position to date
Full time masters degree in administration
Planning to possibly work on starting a family this winter
Mentor for high school student- which I love doing!!!

Of course there is that little thing of spending time with my husband, cleaning my house, grocery shopping, cooking meals, etc etc etc.
And I want to try to maintain my friendships so they don't all think I don't care (please be gracious with me)

I just keep remembering that God said his burden is easy and his yolk is light. 

I missed the mark...

Last Monday after Weight Watchers, I went across the street to Sunflower Market, coincidentally to buy sunflower seeds...funny.  Anyway, on my way into the store a lady stops me in the parking lot to say that she's hungry, her food stamps haven't come in, and she needs food.  Unfortunately, I had the common reaction of rolling my eyes and getting ready to say "sorry I don't have any money" and walking away.  Thankfully what came out of my mouth was a resigned "I don't have cash (because in truth I never do) but I can buy you some food if you want to come in the store."  We proceeded inside together where she kept mentioning and grabbing her "oh I just need this" items.  I agreed begrudgingly.  As we trek through sunflower, in my mind I hear "she's scamming you, this is dumb Leah."  What my ears hear is the lady talking about how hard her life is and how she knew she should have gone to church on Sunday but she was just so tired.  My ears and heart should have perked right up.  She gave me an opening, I didn't even have to try.  Here was an open door to share the gospel and she was one who brought it up.  But instead of stopping and really asking more and engaging her in conversation, I made some lame remarks about how she should have gone to church and how God was blah blah blah.  I honestly don't even remember what nonsense I mumbled to her.  I completely wasted my chance.  In reality her groceries didn't even cost me $9 but I was so eager for her to be away from me and I was sitting there wondering if her damsel in distress act was legit that I slammed that door shut with a resounding thud.  Even now I wonder if Jesus just looked down on me and shook his head.  Here, he had brought a hurting and hungry person to me, I didn't have to do a thing but open my mouth and I wasted the moment.  I'm so ashamed.

Every Sunday we talk about our mission...to share the gospel and win people for Christ and I fail in the face of being out of my comfort zone.  The lady shook my hand and introduced herself by name.  She thanked me profusely, but my small monetary donation to her life was empty and pointless because I didn't let God into our very limited time together. 

So this got me thinking about all the other times I've stamped out my chance to be Christ to others, like when I attack my husband or lose my temper with my students.  When I don't stand up against injustice or allow myself to just be complacent.  This isn't a Leah pity party... it hurts to know that I've looked away from opportunities to fulfill my purpose.  I missed the mark