Just Around the Corner

Feb. 2nd...it's coming. Even worse, February 6th is coming right afterward. These are days that I'm dreading worse than the anniversary of my grandfather's death. I wish I had my husband's optimism as he looks forward to celebrating God's triumph; I approach this day with lingering pain and trepidation.

In high school, I loved a band called Plumb. Do you remember them? Plumb just released a new album with a single that has been frequenting K-Love, it's called Need You Now (How Many Times). The lead singer wrote the song in reflection of her times in high school dealing with anxiety attacks. I think this song likely resonates with so many people because we have all been through times in our life where we were desperately clutching to God in desperation for His deliverance. Consider the lyrics (from azlyrics.com):

"Need You Now (How Many Times)"

Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
So, I guess you're tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on (this is me right now)
I want to believe there's meaning here (this was me then)

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing? (begging, pleading, gasping)
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take

Here's the good news... it's time to do something proactive. Interestingly, Mike and I have had the same exact thoughts on our minds and in our hearts recently and when we shared with each other tonight, we were astonished to see how God had revealed the same thing to each of us. I think we are finally ready. We loathe the idea that another family will endure our plight, that another child will be lose precious time with their deserving parents because of ambiguous and misinterpreted data. This just can't happen again. We received so much encouragement and guidance from complete strangers we found on the internet who went through exactly the same thing that we did. I wish there was a platform, a soapbox if you will. The time will come; in fact, it's just around the corner. 

Resolutions after all

So I know I said I wasn't making any New Year's Resolutions but.......... I've decided to make a couple, although I'm not so much resolved to start doing these things as excited to embark on a couple new hobbies. I love photography. I took four years in high school and little known fact, I actually started as a photo major in college. I didn't like all the art classes I was forced to take though so I changed my mind. Last year, I got a gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, incredible camera as a graduation/birthday/christmas gift from multiple people. The task of learning all the different functions has blown my mind. I've always loved editing photos using websites such as picmonkey but my father-in-law Glenn is slowly (because he has so much patience) introducing me to other options such as Faststone viewing software, which has some editing capabilities. I've fallen in love with photography all over again. He is showing me how to manipulate light, consider picture composition, and vary my aperture settings to achieve my desired goals. Again...blowing my mind.

My first goal for 2013 is to develop my skills as a photographer. I don't anticipate becoming the next Ansel Adams or anything but I want go back to one of my first loves. I'm so eager in fact, I'm looking for willing guinea pigs. If you would be willing to let me photograph you, I would be so delighted. I can't guarantee anything worth sharing with people but it's free! Please let me photograph you!

My second goal is to learn to dance. Mike and I have casually thrown around the idea of taking dance classes together to learn to salsa, tango, waltz etc. I love the idea of floating along in a pretty dress with us resembling something akin to Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers...not so much actually. We'd probably look more like Lloyd and Harry from Dumb and Dumber. Regardless, there are Groupon, Living Social, etc. deals all the time. The bonus though and what is actually motivating me is that we may have found a dance partner couple in my friend Holly and Ish. How much fun would it be to meet with a couple friends a couple times a month to go dancing???

So those are my New Resolutions: nothing to do with the typical health and finance related goals but I look forward to taking on these new hobbies.

All Things New

"All your mercies anew every morning. So let me wake before dawn. And when the music is through, or so it seems to be; let me sing a new song. Old things gone." -Nichole Nordeman's song "Mercies Anew"

This is one of my favorite lines from a song. I think it speaks so well to the ending of 2012 and beginning of 2013. I am eager to say goodbye to 2012. I'm eager to put so much of it's pain, betrayal, desertion, and heartache behind. 2009 brought me my amazing husband and 2011 brought us our beloved daughter. 2012 brought a reminder that God is in control no matter what. Regardless, I can't help but look forward to new possibilities in 2013, hopefully without the injustices that hurt so much this year.

I have no resolutions made, no huge goals that I expect to be successful as a new year rolls in. I will continue on Weight Watchers. I'm 25 lbs down since September and I will continue on this life long journey of being more healthy. I will continue my knee recovery and focus on the over all toning of my entire lower half. Mike and I will be pursuing our first home this year and possibly exploring adding to our family of 3. I will continue my reunion group with Jenn and serving on Tres Dias. I will continue to learn more about God's plan for my life and pursue Him in raising my daughter, serving my husband, and loving those around me.

There is only one goal I have for 2013: for it to be better than 2012.

Kenzie's year in review

I just finished up several of Kenzie's photo projects for her first year. I have one more, which I'll share soon. I've met my bucket list goal for baby #1, which is to create a baby book every two months for their first year. I've also completed a picture frame that includes a photo each month for a year to show her growth. That made me think...I should share what this last year looked like for Kenzie.

Photo by www.courtneysargentphotography.com

 One week after we brought Kenzie home, we were visited by Courtney Sargent. She photographed Kenzie at our home and started our tradition of measuring Kenzie's growth on her lamb.

One month later, we had certainly fallen into a routine. We celebrated our first time visiting the Autumn Festival at Chaparral Church and were looking forward to our first Thanksgiving together

I can't figure out to flip this photo but by now Kenzie was sleeping about 8 hours a night and we were preparing for our first visit to Santa and our first Christmas. 

At three months old, Kenzie had just started going to her baby sitter. I had returned to work and little did we know, the worst nightmare was just around the corner.

This was our first visit with Kenzie at the CPS office. I can't write very much about this time because it is just too hard for me to talk about right now. 

Kenzie was on her way to coming home by staying with Grandpa and Grandma Sue. She was sitting up by this time and starting to roll back and forth. It was also at five months at we introduced cereal with a spoon. 

At six months, getting Kenzie to lay still on the lamb was getting tough. She wanted to scoot and role. She cut her first tooth and then three more very shortly afterward. 

At seven months old, Kenzie;s hair was starting to fill in, she was trying to get her legs under her to crawl and was still the happiest baby!

Back home with Mike and me, at eight months, Kenzie had almost 8 teeth (the little chomper!). She was starting to crawl and explore everything. 








As you can clearly see, getting Kenzie to stay on the lamb for her photo was basically impossible.









At ten months, Kenzie was standing, cruising, trying to push things around and sporting almost 12 teeth.

The lamb was basically her sleeping pillow!

At one year old, Kenzie started walking all by herself. She had 14 teeth and started eating non-baby food. She uses several sign language words for "more", "all done", and "milk". She still sleeps and eats like a champ and adores her new baby sitter, Gretchen. If I hold her and ask her for kisses, sometimes she'll lean into me so I can kiss her. If I ask for hugs she'll lean against my shoulder so I can squeeze her. She points at everything and asks "what's this?" Sometimes I look at her and I'm so overwhelmed by my love for her that my heart hurts. She is our everything. My little cupcake. My Kensington. 

Photo by www.courtneysargentphotography.com

Take a Deep Breath

I love worship music. There are endless songs on Klove and Sirius's the Message that lift me up and break through my walls in ways that other things and people cannot. I've heard that God speaks to us all in unique ways. Some hear him through dreams, some through his word, some directly into their mind, some through sermons, and wise council, and some through music...that's me. I can hear God speaking to my heart through the words of worship songs as directly as I can hear my husband speaking to my ear when he's sitting right in front of me. One of my favorite artists is Phillips, Craig, and Dean. Recently, my favorite song by this group is "When the Stars Burn Down"

The very moment I hear the initial guitar part, I can't help but take a huge breath and an almost searing and yet soothing feeling courses through me. I feel my heart beat slow down, my mind quiets, if I'm not driving my eyes close, and for just a small moment God says, "Don't forget...I'm still in control. This is all temporary."

I encourage you...take a moment and watch the video. Take a deep breath.

Try it...you'll like it!

Since Sept. 17th I've lost 26 lbs. It's no secret that I did it all with the Simply Filling Technique. I've given examples of the foods I eat including menus but really, there a few small changes I've made that have had a huge impact. If you try these you will likely see a difference as well:

Say goodbye to:

fastfoodgeek.com

• all fast food
• prepared foods (and all the horrible perservatives)
• refined flour (pasta, bread, rice etc)

 Limit: 

• sweets and sugary snacks
• red meat and high fat protein/dairy
• sodium intake 
• caffeine

Switch to and include: 

dvo.com

• tons of fruits and veggies 
• 100% whole wheat (pasta, bread etc)
• water, water, water
• 93% fat free or higher protein (find the leanest cuts of meat)
• low fat dairy 

My Vices (I hope to give these up soon):

livelifeactive.com

• diet soda
• artificial sweeteners 

Give it a try:

• exercise
• other forms of protein like beans, quinoa etc
• adequate sleep
• go organic 

library.thinkquest.org

 

 

 

 

Some tricks of the trade

Tonight at our Weight Watchers meeting we were discussing ways to readjust our routine so that following the plan fits into our day naturally. I love to eat, I do and I don't apologize for that. Eating is not a problem when you have healthy things available. Over time I have found some easy ways to keep snacks on hand so I can easily grab exactly what I love as soon as I want it.

1. Plan ahead: on any given day I stock my fridge with Honeycrisp apples, Bartlett pears, bananas, Cara Cara oranges, and mangoes. For fruit where I eat the skin, I take the tip I found from Pinterest (

Source: foodlushblog.com via Leah on Pinterest

) about cleaning apple my fruits and veggies before putting them in the fridge. I also purchase containers of nonfat Greek yogurt and fat free cottage cheese.

2. alternatives to fattening favs: sometimes veggies can be difficult to swallow. There are a couple things you can do to make them all more tasty. Add a ranch packet to plain nonfat greek yogurt- it tastes just as yummy as ranch dressing. Walden Farms products are awesome. I particularly love their Sun-dried tomato salad dressing and caramel sauce.

My new favorite thing to munch on is homemade french fries. Slice up potatoes, lay them out on a cookie sheet, spray with olive oil Pam and your favorite seasoning mix. Bake at 400 degrees for about 45 mins. Tasty!

Whatever you choose...just find the stuff you love and make it available.